babyEle :D

after i posted this image, me and mr sunny had some discussion which veered onto some risque topics. at the end of which:

me: :P

wokki :P

koi dimag-cleaning machine aati hai?

Sunny: hoti hai..

me: marriage?

8:00 PM Sunny: no no...

wife :P

me: same difference :D

Sunny: :P

me: waise this part is also bloggable :D

the dimag cleaning machine part :P

Sunny: bloggiyao...

sab kuch likh daalo

sab padhega tera beta/beti :P

waise, with my genes, i don't think my beta/beti would have to padhofy something to get to know of all these things [:P]!!

IE 8

IE 8 beta 2 has been available for download for some time now. i tried it today. seemed to me more of a child born out of a marriage between firefox and flock.

accelerators let you utilise the power of the web without copy-pasting across tabs. so you have encarta, maps, live search etc built into the context menu. there are addons in firefox that give the same functionality. only here you have everything pre-built.

instant search is basically a built-in suggest feature. i think it will be annoying. i've turned off suggest in firefox. i hate those drop-down lists that appear for every thing i search. and visual search is more like yahoo glue.

web slices seems to be a nice thing. but it's success depends on how exactly the browser selects which pages are capable of web slices. and which sites it supports. it seems the support for web slice will have to be built by the site designer. and it is said that it's inspired by the web clip feature of safari (i've never used safari)

tab grouping seems to be an interesting thing to do. with an option to close the group at once or refresh the tabs.

inPrivate browsing has been termed as porn browsing. but i think it's a good feature, particularly for people using public computers.

the smart screen is a direct copy from firefox 3. even the wording is almost the same. but i liked the domain highlighting feature.

smart address bar is again a copy from firefox 3. only, in IE it takes just a fraction of a second more to load.

searching on page has become a bit better with highlighting and no annoying floating boxes. but i still don't know why they can't have find-as-you-type.

the tabs are now individual processes or something like that. so that if a tab crashes, it doesn't affect the other. i don't know what it will do to the memory consumption, the only advantage IE has over firefox.

by default, all web slices and many other things will keep on updating themselves even though IE might not be running. dunno how many people really want this to happen. on my part, i hate processes that run by themselves in the background (not the system ones, of course :P)

but this is still beta. though i don't think there will be any major changes.

humein tumse pyar kitna, ye hum nahi jaante

i love you, and not your money
i'm not here for the honey
these lines may seem funny
but my love is as sweet as pure cheeni

[written in collaboration with mr sunny somani ]

moo-the-haa!!!

to bachhon, bajao taali!

logical sequence

you could point out
a hundred reasons
why we were never
'meant to be'
you could say
we never connected
we were after all
different people
you could believe
you never loved me
there was something
missing in the 'love'

but i believe
we missed just one step
we tried to be lovers
before we were friends

accidental proposal

i'm thinking of falling in love with you.

thinking?

so what's wrong with that?

nothing. but i'd rather you didn't put so much of conscious thought into this process.

but thinking also involves thinking about you.

really?

yup... all the time..

i think it's more of evaluating and less of thinking.

so what's wrong with that?

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?? i thought you will accept me as i am.

that i will. but i should know what you are, shouldn't i?

you sure know how to talk smooth!!

how else do you think i snared you?

WHAT did you just say?

hmm... erm... nothing....

i'm no more than a prized catch to you, am i?

it's not like that...

so how exactly is it??

prized you are.. my most prized possession.

you think you possess me, you own me?

i'm certainly possessive about you.

words, words again.

it's only words, words are all i have...

STOP singing stupid songs!!!

:(

stop sulking.

:((

stop making puppy faces.

but i love you.

so all that thinking finally turned into actions?

erm.. what?

your first sentence.

oh!! yup [:D]!!

and i love you too.

-------------------------------

all's well that ends well.

eye-sight

a broken mirror, a thousand pieces
so many eyes staring back at me
how i wish i could pick them up
and look into those eyes
my own eyes

things i've always wanted
the eyes to tell me
but have always feared
looking into them
in the mirror

but now the mirror is broken
and i'm here wondering
if it's a shackle broken
or a thousand more fetters
to bind me down

but the eyes, they'll decide
what i have to do
and i know all will be right
the day i gather the courage
to look into those eyes
my own eyes

basic instincts

how i wish it would talk to me [:P]

lights will guide you home, and in exams too ...


road to nowhere


star wars (this, sadly, isn't as interesting)


an insurmountable mountain

[locale: Business Law class. basic econometrics end-term tomorrow]

kyonki raat ke baad hi to fir savera hota hai...

and i am happy today ...

yeah!

a packet of brittania good day choco-nut can make you happy. well, almost.

contingent liability

i could fight
anything and everything
the world throws at me
and if it'd be so
if push comes to shove
i could fight myself

but there's one thing
that defeats me
all the time
there's one thing
i can never fight
a single word:
'if'

बेबस

शब्दों की कमी हो
और बातें किए बिना
रहा ना जाए
तो कोई क्या करे?

खुश रहने की
कोई वजह ना हो
और मुस्कराना पड़े
तो कोई क्या करे?

जिंदगी चलती रहे
अपनी रफ्तार से
और मन कहीं रुका रहे
तो कोई क्या करे?

अनजानी वजहों से
खालीपन भरा मन
बरबस भर आए
तो कोई क्या करे?

बारिशों के इंतज़ार में
बंजर अन्तर में
आँसू अगर बरसें
तो कोई क्या करे?

music to the ears

there might be a din outside
people shouting themselves hoarse
stream of endless chatter
the world drowning you in sounds

there might be a din inside
thoughts speaking their minds
innumerable tongues and viewpoints
in a whirlpool of charged emotions

and still, i pray your inner self
remains a placid pool of strength
i pray you never stop hearing
the song in your heart

whoooo

my maxillary canines are much longer than my incisors and pre-molars. they say it's the sign of a rakshasa. i agree.

encounter

me finishes a 80 min test in 40 and comes out. the prof comes out after me.

prof: bahut jaldi ho gaya?

me: sir, bas itna hi aata tha.

prof: kuchh kiya hai ki nahi?

me: haan sir, kuchh kuchh kar diya hai.

[:D]

छोटी छोटी, मगर मोटी बातें

किसी के चेहरे पे
हँसी बन खिलखिलाती हैं
तो किसी की हँसी को
आंसू बन खा जाती हैं
किसी के टुकडों को
बाँध कर सजाती हैं
तो कभी किसी बंधन के
टुकड़े कर जाती हैं
कभी किसी डूबते को
तिनके का सहारा देती हैं
तो कभी किसी सहारे को
तिनके सा बिखरा देती हैं

ये छोटी छोटी बातें
जाने क्या जादू करती हैं

my brain's on an outage today. an indefinite one, i think. and i feel numb.

behind the eyes

we put on masks
and make faces
we smile without
bearing the pain inside
we deceive ourselves
with mind-games
we try to shut out
what is really real
we try to please
when we'd rather shout
we try to walk
when we'd rather run
we are brave
in a whirlpool of fear
we are supportive
with wobbly legs

but the fact remains:
we are just kids
pretending to be
supermen.

arbit

a random discussion. and i realized that i want a wife who doesn't have a shrill voice. like some girls have. a sound that gets on the nerves. i don't want someone who's dulcet-sounding. normal would be okay for me.

an analogy could be the problem the microsoft guys had.

only, in my case, the voice will be there for much more time than that.

[:P]

i hate what i'm doing to myself. this is not the me i want to be.

useless words

she said:
i know that
you've been plotting
to get me back
but i should tell you
you're never gonna
succeed at that

he said:
to do that
to get you back
i'll have to first
acknowledge the fact
that you're gone
and i'm sorry
i can't do that
coz it hurts
damn too much.
and i'd never want
you to come back
coz i did something
or said something
i'd want you to come
because you loved me
which you never will.

i know you wouldn't
ever believe it
but the fact remains
i want you to be happy

soggy death

it's a watery world
where i can see
reflections of the past
images that float
on the waves
blurred and hazy
but i know them.
floating down
the sound resounds
icy waters underground
as the fear seeps
thru my veins
and that poison
called sadness
kills me within.
but it's funny
how i can see
so many colors
as light shines through
this watery world
colors i want
to paint pictures with
but there's nothing
i can draw.

and then, without notice
the watery world breaks
the dam holding it
and i cry and cry
and drown
in my own tears

['floating down, the sound resounds, icy waters underground' is from a song by pink floyd]

mental block?

i wonder why, whenever i have to go from A to B, i almost never take path X. it's always path Y.

i wonder how, i wonder why
yesterday you told me about the blue blue sky
and all that i can see
is just a yellow lemon tree
[fool's garden - lemon tree]

[:P]

my dung-eon

the subject becomes the observer - like the invisible lizard on the wall... and tries to give a dispassionate view of the environs he finds himself in..

=>a coffee cup that i've been intending to throw away for the past three days.

=>a laundry basket full of freshly washed clothes - if you count two days as the freshness expiry limit.

=>some clothes - tee, bermuda shorts, jeans - lying around because of the no vacancy state of the aforementioned laundry basket.

=>a newspaper - eco times - lying in the area that's technically behind the door and hence not visible to anyone who enters the room. don't remember since when. don't have the enthu to get up and see the date. ( i discontinued the newspaper yesterday. you can guess why)

=>a table which is.. well.. more of a dumping ground. two empty cinthol wrappers, books in disarray, pens strewn around, headphone with wires entangled in the books and the pens, a mouse that doesn't work, a rubik's cube .. my neck is paining right now, so no more of tabletop view... but there's also a ganesha showpiece - my favorite god.. and this full of i-don't-know-what.

=>shelves that i can't have a look at from where i'm lying down right now. and a good thing too, i think. two of them are reasonably neat most probably.

=>cupboard full of clothes. which are properly arranged [:)]!!

=>a pile of newspapers in one corner.

=>a chair that has a towel on it. and a law book. and a notebook. and 2-3 newspapers.

=>a bucket that has a dew bottle (i've been thinking of making something of it), a coat hanger and two handkerchiefs. the coat hanger isn't mine.

=>a lone doodle on a wall i've been intending to fill up.

=>a writing board that i almost never use.

=>two rolls of black chart paper. one of white. and some rolls of gold and silver paper. why did i get those?

=>two cards and madhushala (my b'day present) lying in the table drawer. have been able to read only two pages till now. and i'm not going to let anyone touch it before i finish it first.

=>where did i get pens of so many colors? i can see at least 3 varieties of red, a black pen, 2 shades of green and of course blues. 3 highlighters - different colors. two screwdrivers.

=>and finally, a laptop that should have been dusted a year ago.

that's it, i think!

proposal

i promise
i'll make you cry
be intolerable
most of the days
and an oaf
for the rest

i promise
i'll be engulfed
with insecurities
and fears
of you going away
forever

i promise
i will never
let you help me
but will never
stop asking
you for help

i promise
i'll want you
to think of me
without considering
other things might
be more important

i promise
i'll smother you
with declarations
of love
as if the love
is one-sided

i promise
i'll insist
on being a part
of your life
even when you want
your own space

i promise
i'll make it
impossible for you
to love me
and stay by my side
to care for me

will you love me?

sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy
sunshine in my eyes can make me cry
sunshine on the water looks so lovely
sunshine almost always makes me high

-john denver (sunshine on my shoulders)

internal strife

she wanted to feel
the raindrops on her face
spread out her arms
and embrace a friend
fight to keep her eyes open
as she looked up and faced
the steady downpour
she wanted to feel
water against her skin
soothing and wonderful
caring and cleansing
and the tingling sensation
of rivulets down her face

but you were worried
about raincoats
and sodden clothes
that would have to be dried

caught in the crossfire between
childhood and stardom

and.....

i had a haircut.

:)

B&W

it's white all around and i'm black
unseen uncountable fingers pointing
the whiteness accusing me of being here
i can feel some of it creeping on
eating away the edges of my form
i thrash around and use my claws
there's a lot of whiteness under my nails
but it seems to have an endless supply
and there's always a lot of it around me

it's like a thousand suns shining
and i can't close my eyes for a second
it's like blinding flashes, shooting pain
drilling into my skin without bleeding me
it's like being left alone in a vast sea
except here the sea is above and all around
it's like a deafening noise in the ears
that puts the blood on boil
it's like a throbbing headache of the worst kind
blurring the vision and making me cry

and i know it isn't going to go away
there's a lot of it eating me from within
making me see white all around me

i'm angry today

[anger is often associated with red. or sometimes with black - probably to say it's an unwanted feeling. but i think anger should be white]

gmail new feature :D

dunno if you've noticed it or not, but there's a small new feature. the compose area now expands as you go on typing. this is especially good for long mails where earlier you had to scroll within that small writing area. now you can view a larger area of your draft.

but why the :D ? i suggested this feature some time ago [:D]!! of course, there must have been many others who did so, but i was also one of them [:D]!!

story

they walked together
under sunny skies
the shadow of love over them
they walked together
under starry skies
shining in each other's afterglow
but it rained

all they could see
was them and their love
in their eyes
all they could see
was a future of dreams
in their eyes
but it rained

they held hands
and promised it'd be so
forever and ever
they held hands
and promised they'd be there
for each other forever
but it rained

it rained like
it had never before
it rained like
it would never end
it rained tears
and it rained reasons
it rained hate
and it rained apologies
it rained water
till love was drowned
it rained pain
and everything changed

and now a river
flows between them
all they do is
stare at each other
you'd think that
they would want
the incessant rain
to stop someday

but the truth is
they aren't sure
and it rains on
and it rains on

hee haw!

ain't i glad i know how to solve the cube?
[:D]

though i think this might be inspired by this microsoft ad.

[image is today's xkcd comic]
[the post was titled 'frustration' and the image had the tag - " 'Don't worry, I can do it in under a minute.' 'Yes, I've noticed.' "]

crocin-cured headaches. dream-less daydreams. and i wonder. how all that pain gets into the head. and i keep it there. within myself. mixing pain with smiles. painful smiles. mirth-less smiles. and the lies get me in the end. lies i tell myself. lies i told myself. and truth is pain. and another headache.