तू ही तू ...

कल कुछ बातें की थी
तुमसे, अपने साए से
कल कहते कहते रुक गया था
तुम लगे थे कुछ पराये से
तुमसे कुछ छुपा नहीं
फ़िर जाने ये दीवारें कैसीं
तुमसे जीने की वजहें हैं
पर क्यूँ लगें वो गुनाहों जैसीं
मेरे दिल और इस खंजर में
जाने कैसा ये रिश्ता है
मानो ग़मों का कोई सैलाब
खुशनुमा बादलों में बसता है
कश्मकश से हारा, टूटा
ढूंढूं मैं बारिश को कहीं
तुम मिलोगी तूफानों के उस पार
जाने क्यों मुझको है यकीन

हर किसी को मुकम्मल जहाँ नही मिलता
कभी ज़मीन तो कभी आसमान नही मिलता
चाह कर भी तुम्हे अपना नही जब कह पाता हूँ
सच कहता हूँ अन्दर ही कहीं मर जाता हूँ

[inspired by the song har jagah mein from tuhi mere rab ki tarah hai - the new album of mithoon]

this day yesterday

paragraph 1:

today was martyr's day - the day gandhiji was killed. on this day a two-minute silence is observed at 11:00 am - the time of his death.

paragraph 2:

in primary school, we used to rush off when the bell sounded for recess - to be the first one on the playground. i know it sounds childish but that's what we were back then - children.

link between 1 and 2:

sirens go off in cities and bells in schools to indicate the said time. our recess used to be at 11:10.

in std 2, on martyr's day, i ran out of class at the 11:00 bell. and was beside myself with joy on reaching the playground first. but found it strange that no one came second. to cut a long story short, i went back to class to get a good scolding.

end of story.

recent activity

love/hate

सूरज और अंधेरे की लड़ाई
इस बात में बिल्कुल नहीं सच्चाई
दोनों में है प्यार बहुत सारा
देते हैं एक दूजे को सहारा
सूरज की जब ख़त्म होती पारी
अँधेरा उठाता उसकी ज़िम्मेदारी
अंधेर जब रात से थक जाए
बाहों में छुपा सूरज उसे सुलाए

colors

i've always loved pics of pencil crayons arranged in different ways. so yesterday i went ahead and collected lots of them. mainly from google image search and flickr.

here is the result:



and



ps1: there are two albums coz it seems picasa has a limit of 500 pics per album.

ps2: pics on flickr that don't allow download (spaceball.gif) can still be grabbed. just view the code and search for ?v=0 . the first instance of this will have a image link before it. that's the link to the image. i didn't know this before yesterday.

colon dee

i wanted to lose some weight.

so i went and donated blood.

:D

matinee show

forthcoming attraction:

the alien butterfly, Buttertron


now on a wall near you
-----------------------------------------------------

and now to the main story:


the frog and the mountain, david and goliath
different names, same story
courage, grit and determination


and the mounting begins
don't you think anything bad here!
every journey begins with a single step

and everest is conquered
but what's the use?
what does all this mean?
victory and pride and all?
the hero ponders
suicide nears

and there falls another hero
who ran out of mountains to conquer
who looked into himself
and found an abyss

maybe it's a conspiracy
by all the mountains of the world

dramatis personae:
two subscription coupons in the Economist

locale:
Social Banking and Microfinance class

director:
naween kumar

good morning

कल सूरज खिड़की से रिसते रिसते
बिस्तर तक आ पहुँचा था
रौशनी के कुछ टुकड़े बिखरे से
अंधेरे कमरे में चमक उठे थे
गुनगुनी सी धूप के शोर से
कल नींद मेरी टूटी थी
कुछ झकझोर कर, कुछ हौले से
सुबह ने दस्तक दी थी
किरणों की गुदगुदी से हँसते
अपने चेहरे को मैंने देखा था
शीशे में उस अजनबी को देख
कुछ अजब सा शायद लगा था
पर सोचो तो सूरज कितना अच्छा है
हंस कर रोज़ गले मिलता है
अन्दर छुपे किसी और इंसान से मिला
बिना कुछ कहे चला जाता है
कल जब फ़िर सूरज आयेगा
मैं भी कुछ हँसी उसे दूँगा
मन में थोड़ा सा सूरज छुपा कर
हर अंधेरे से लड़ लूँगा

two sides of a coin?

कुछ कहते थे तुमसे
तो किस्से कुछ होते थे
अब बातें होती हैं खूब सारी
पर कहने को तरस जाते हैं

-------

बातें तो पहले भी होती थीं
पर अब बात ही कुछ और है
अब कहती हैं आँखें बस
बाकी बातें सब शोर हैं

hmmm...

मेरी सारी बातें, बिन कहे
तुम सुन लेते हो
जाने कैसे कुछ करके
मेरे ख्वाबों को रंग देते हो

समंदर किनारे रेत पे
महल गढ़ते तुम्हारे हाथों में
जाने कैसा जादू है
जब हाथ थामे हम चलते हैं
तो कुछ नया सा लगता है
समंदर भी उथला सा लगता है

तुम संग बैठ के
सूरज को हँसते हँसते
अलविदा कह देता हूँ
कि लाल किरणों से रोशन
तेरे चेहरे को देख
सुकून आ जाता है
लगता है भले रात हो जाए
और बाकी सब खो जायें
मेरे संग उजालों के काफिले हैं
मुझे मेरा सूरज मिल गया है

हमें इतना प्यार ना करो
कि हम मर जायें
हंस दो ज़रा प्यारी हँसी
कि हम तर जायें

goody bollywoody

she couldn't believe her eyes. she was seeing him after something like ten years. and he still had the same smile - the same winning smile that endeared him to everyone. and it was clear the children loved him too. they jostled around for his attention as he tried hard to talk to everyone all at once. he had always loved kids so much. he would stop and ruffle the hair of every kid that he passed. and she had always teased him for this.

"if you love strange kids so much, how much will you love the ones that will be your own??"
"just wait, you'll have to compete very hard if you are to have a chance with our son."
"wait a sec !! what's this about 'our' son ? we have a great way to go before we even think of marriage. and anyways, why should it be a son and not a daughter ?"
"coz i want a son!!"

he lifted a boy and carried him on the shoulder while the others formed a train behind him. the engine got off to a sudden start making the carriages rush ahead to catch up. she tried hard to concentrate on the sick girl on the bed before her but she couldn't take her eyes off him.

"why can't i take my eyes off you ?"
"coz you love me."
"duh, love is a crazy thing. look at the time i end up wasting."
"ah!! the ever busy medical student."
"hey, i'm no longer a student. i passed the exams a month ago, if you remember."
"okkay, the ever busy DOCTOR !! happy now ??"

"who's that man? " she asked the girl. "that uncle ?? he's the sweetest person of all who come to meet us. he brings us chocolates and toys whenever he comes." "poor fellow, he doesn't have kids of his own," the nurse chimed in. and she immediately felt a pang of sadness for him. he'd wanted too have kids so very much. there was a sudden commotion outside. it appeared that the boy had fell down in all that running around and had skinned his knee. he was trying his best to console the poor kid who was bawling at the top of his voice. seeing the kid cry, he was almost crying himself.

how much he had cried when she had informed him of her decision !! he had pleaded with her, cajoled her, had tried all that he could. but she didn't want to go against her parents' wishes. she wasn't prepared to hurt them. but she also didn't want to hurt him. she tried to explain things to him, but all in vain. he would have none of it.
"i can't imagine the rest of my life with anybody else."
"you'll have to. there's no other way. do you think i would be doing this if i felt there was some other way?"
"please don't do this to me!!"
"i have to. please let me go."
"but i'll always love you."

she felt a tap on her shoulder and saw her husband. "do you really need to work sundays for this community service thing ? look at you - isn't a week of work enough?"
"aww, come on. it's just a hour or two. and besides this orphanage needs it." she scribbled a few medicines for the girl and handed the nurse the slip. through the window, she could see him carrying the boy back to the infirmary. her husband followed her gaze.
"poor fellow. the matron was talking to me about him a few minutes ago. seems he couldn't get his love. and the idiot never married. they say he can't let go of her even though she's been gone a long time now."

and their eyes met in one brief moment of recognition and connection.

she turned away and walked off with her husband.

but her lips were quivering.

the lonely moon

जब सूरज पाँव पसारे
और सो जाते हैं तारे
तब चाँद अकेला बेचारा
रोता होगा दिन भर सारा
बिना साथी बिना सहारे
जाने पल कैसे कटते होंगे सारे
चलो कभी यूँ ही
आसमान की ओर मुस्कराएं सभी
कि चाँद खुश हो जाए
और रात को खूब जगमगाए
फ़िर अँधेरी रातों का कोई सहारा होगा
मुस्कराता वो साथी हमारा होगा

confluence/confusion

i think i'm losing the urge to write.

rain, rain, come again

जब कुछ बातें कहने को
मन उतावला होता है
और सुनने वाला कोई
दूर तक नहीं होता है
जाने क्यों बारिश होती है
बूँदें बस मेरी अपनी होती हैं

जब गीला मन कहीं
रोने को कन्धा ढूँढे
डर कर सहमा सा
निराशा की लड़ियाँ गूंथे
जाने क्यों बारिश होती है
बूँदें बस मेरी अपनी होती हैं

खुशियों से पागल हो
मन बावला सा घूमे
खोजे कोई अपना ऐसा
जिसके संग खूब झूमे
जाने क्यों बारिश होती है
बूँदें बस मेरी अपनी होती हैं

जब भी बारिश होती है
मिलता हूँ कुछ अपनों से
कुछ अपनी सी प्यारी बूँदें
मिलाती हैं मुझे सपनों से

my day (and night) today (or yesterday?)

i'm hungrrrrrryyyyyyyy!!! i want to eat something! something meaty!! or chocolaty!!

anyways, this post is about my day today.

i wonder if there are tsetse flies in this part of the world. coz i'm feeling i have the sleeping sickness. plus slight cold. plus i felt feverish all day. plus body ache. whoa!! so many pluses! i never got an A+ in my life!!

okay, okay! i'm not coherent! but i'm hungry!! and sleepy!! and feverish!! and hungry!!

but i completed two of the assignments i had taken on. that leaves just one more. plus i watched some episodes of two and a half men. and the one where alan nails cindy. charlie, his brother does cindy's mom. and judith, alan's divorced wife, cosies up with cindy's dad. i know it sounds like a fucking mess but you should also take into account the fact that all of this was happening in the same house. pretty interesting stuff, huh!

all i've had today is two sattu parathas with a bit of bhujia, one spoonful of maggi, one slice of chocolate bread, two cups each of coffee and tea, a little rice with some pakodas and some salad. that's only about 1.5 meals!! i'm starving!!

dunno why i remembered metamorphosis today. i'd left it halfway ages ago. couldn't even recall its name. had to search for it using the little i remembered - the salesman turning into the giant insect. well, will try to read it some day.

what i'd do for some chicken tandoori now!!

the girl and the fairy

सुबह हाथों के पीछे से
सूरज के टुकड़े चुनती लड़की से
परी ने कहा, तारे लोगी?

लड़की हंस पड़ी और कहा
तारे तो सभी मेरे अपने हैं
सूरज के वो टुकड़े मेरे सपने हैं

life's teachings

there's something i've been thinking of doing for many days now. it isn't actually essential but if it has to be done, it has to be done before a deadline. i've been lazing around for the past so many days. and now i'm stuck with a project to do and a brochure to prepare for an event i assented to help with. and i'm not feeling well.

you'd think the moral of the story is that you should do things when you have the time.

but no, the moral of the story is: never take up more than you can manage with your sleep schedule.

D(e)vine

the music of Dev.D is brilliant, to say the least. i'm not qualified to use the exact technical terms for its various qualities. but i think one word will suffice. irreverent.

now waiting for the movie.