time travel

noticed this happening today. looked like a mail from the future [:P]

so i searched some (on google itself, of course) and found that one of the reference times is your computer's. so this basically indicates that my comp's clock is out of sync with the real world. now why would gmail do that? rahul said that they are using javascript to refresh that thing so that they won't have to reload a page every time. but then the script could have noted the comp time when it first loaded, and taken this into account when calculating future times [ would have worked fine unless you changed your comp time while reading a mail]. this page provides an alternate explanation.

anyways, i now have an alternate way of knowing when my comp's clock is running behind.[:P]

musings

a jobless person, by definition, has no job to do. and the only thing that has been equitably distributed among the humans of this world is time, giving everyone the same twenty-four hours of the day. hence, the person with no job to do has obviously more time on his hands than anybody else. this surplus time leads people to do different things, depending upon their dispositions. the understudy starts musing, and moping. hence this monologue.

pray tell me, why does the night canteen not have a room service option? isn't it cruel to expect a moping person to wake himself out of his reverie and carry his body-weight down two flight of stairs to face a never ending queue filled with endless chatter that further disturbs his train of thoughts? or is it really just to let a famished soul witness mouth-watering dishes being prepared one after another and other people mouthing them while he watches in abject (and growing) hunger and waits for his turn?

there are only so many games of kenken one can play. and the news sites don't get updated as often as one wants to. so much for the saying that we live in a happening world. and people with blogs are very machiavellian in the timing of their writings. when their readers are hard pressed for time, these authors will turn out posts at a frantic pace but come slack-time and it will seem as if the drought in things-to-do has caught onto the blogs too. weird, stupdid, world!!!

there are times when the muser wishes for a genie who was a patient listener. the dark of the night is hardly the time to disturb any one on the phone. and the strange machinations of the string-puller are manifested again in the chat list - people who he doesn't want to talk to will be online all the time while the ones who he's ready to bare his heart too will almost always be found offline, or at least when he's in dire need of a distraction from his dark musings.

what then can anyone do, except release all these pent-up grievances in words?

so is this a letter of complaint against the world? it seems like that, doesn't it? but the answer is no. this is just a jobless person whiling away his time, spewing out words one after the other, hoping that the end-product makes some sense. this is just a genie-wisher conjuring up an imaginary genie and talking to him. this is just the growling of an empty stomach of a lazy fool who's torn between hunger and the superhuman effort needed to haul his ass out of bed. this is a tirade against all the emptiness in the muser's mind that he hopes to fill with endless words.

huff!! puff!! typing can be tiring too!! an effort that malnutritioned musers can ill-afford.

hence, tata..

pursuit of happyness

खामखा मुस्कराऊँ
खामखा गुनगुनाऊँ
खामखा चलता जाऊं मैं
खामखा मचलता हूँ
खामखा फिसलता हूँ
खामखा उछलता हूँ मैं
मैं खुश हूँ आज खामखा

=============

खुशियाँ खोजने चला था मैं
कहीं दूर बंजर शहरों में
मिली तो बस ठोकरें
मायूसी के जंगलों में
सोचा था कुछ वजहें मिलेंगी
होंठ जिनसे मुस्करायेंगे
और गम के काले बादल
झट से छंट जायेंगे

पर अब रंग भी कुछ चमके हैं
ढंग भी कुछ आ धमके हैं
अब खुशियों से यारी है
छोड़ी फीकी बातें सारी हैं
खुशी की वजहें खोजना
ख़ुद से दूर जाना है बेवजह
अब तो बस मैं ही मैं हूँ
मैं खुश हूँ आज खामखा

[sorry for destroying the beauty of the wonderful ad :). but i do believe that happiness is just a dairy milk away :D]

wake up and smell the sun

wakey wakey wakey
open your sleepy eyes
to the thousand worlds inside
all the different yous
keeping you company
and all the different people
you ever wanted to be
there's your favorite tree
with your snug little treehouse
and the birds you talk with
in your squeaky little voice
you can cry all you want
without the fear of ending up sad
and you can smile till kingdom come
without tears welling in your eyes
colors colors and more
bright and drab, warm and cold
white rainbows and colored clouds
mazes you could get lost in
the kid playing all day long
like having so many flavors
of ice cream to choose from
and all the different threads
waiting for you to weave a dream
and all the different colors
in all the different shades
waiting for you draw a picture
waiting for you to draw a tomorrow

let there be light

मैंने सूरज से कह दिया है
सुबह समय से जगा देना
कल फ़िर कुछ सपने सजाने हैं
आँखों से अँधेरा भगा देना
रात का रोना अब बहुत हुआ
सूजी आंखें किरणों से सहला देना
नए दिन में नई ज़िन्दगी हो
उजली सुनहरी कुछ बातें सिखला देना

wait till eternity

the bridges were washed away
and i stand here, on this side of the river
looking where you had once been
waiting for the dreams to drown

snatches of conversation now
where we'd spin tales one after other
i saw the world through your eyes and now i'm
waiting for the visions to fade away

clutching onto something that never was mine
i hold on and try to let go at the same time
thinking of all that you were to me
waiting for all of you to go away

[the song intezaar, aitbaar, tumse pyar from 'khosla ka ghosla' is a really beautiful one]

the making of stories

सूरज की किरणों से
खिड़की पे ओस की बूँदें
तारे बन जाती हैं
फिर ओस के साथ जाती
दिन की कुछ परछाईयाँ
रात तक किस्से बन जाती हैं

the earth has one sun

अनजाने में राह भटक गया
एक तारा सुबह तक जाग गया
सूरज को देखा तो डर गया
दुम दबा कर भाग गया
सूरज का चेहरा उतर गया
आया हुआ साथी अकेला छोड़ गया

चाँद के तो संग हैं तारे
सूरज सारा दिन अकेला गुजारे
जल जल के थक जाता है
किसी को उसपे तरस भी आता है?
जाओ सूरज, थोड़ा सुस्ताओ
बादलों के पीछे छुप जाओ

no exit options

there will be lonely roads
and you'll wish it was all over
all the pain and the tears
but i'll remind you of the good times
and the smiles we smiled
try and take away all your fears
i'll always be on your side

the climb up the mountain
will tire you down to the bones
and victory won't seem as sweet
i'll hold you tight in my arms
and tell you how you are the best
how you should be proud of your feat
i'll always be on your side

there will be a crowd between us
that won't let you hear what i say
and we'll be separated by faces
but when the din gets deafening
and you look for some solace
i'll be your ocean of silence
i'll always be on your side

there are a thousand reasons
why you shouldn't be with me
and maybe you'll go away one day
but i have only one reason
to stay, to hold tight, to be there
i've nowhere else to go

i'll always be on your side

[always on your side by sheryl crow is a wonderful wonderful song. it's playing in the background :). my favorite line is: butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away..]

impish

शैतान चाँद शायद हमेशा
उन्हे गुदगुदी करता रहता है
तभी कुछ तारे प्यारे से
जब देखो हँसते रहते हैं

chicken and egg

pictures and memories
memories not of the pictures
but different pictures altogether
pictures that made memories
pictures that never were
and the picture that is
brings a memory that never was

pictures and memories
triggers, shooting pain
but the pictures are beautiful
and the memories not all bad
memories that i hold dear
memories i make my pictures with
but there's still some pain
the bridge between them

pictures and memories
of people long since dead
of people i created
of people that never were
of walks through nights
for mornings that never dawned
of rains that left me crying
of waters that left me thirsty

pictures and memories
that hold the heart in a vice
the pain isn't entirely in the mind
there's the lump in the throat
and the dull ache somewhere inside

pictures and memories
floodgates of tears
and yet, i know
there's nothing else whatsoever
that can make me smile
but the pictures and memories

truth/dare

i was on a form-filling spree today.. placement season approaching.. and i remembered something..i had applied to mckinsey in my previous college.. i knew for sure i wasn't going to be shortlisted.. they took only the toppers.. so i decided to be bold and forthright..

The obvious disadvantage I would face in a team job like the one at McKinsey would be my tendency to get depressed when I fail to fulfill the expectations I have from myself. Since these may be periods of some duration, I may be the one bringing down the team morale in situations where I feel I haven't been up to the task.

On the other hand, I believe I have a very fecund imagination and I can contribute more than a fair share of ideas to any brainstorming session. Also, I tend to start with the bleakest view of anything and everything and hence there won't be many who could beat me at the job of being the doomsday doctor of the group.

Being a cynic at heart, I don't take things at face value and I'm also, in general, devoid of any preconceived notions about anything. If a fresh, critical (pun intended) mind is what is being sought, then the description fits me.

the worst kind of luck

i thought my love
would make you let me
into your inner world
but i'm forever banished
and i know i can wait
but you'll never let me in

i thought i saw a different person
hidden behind that mask you wore
someone who sang sweet songs
but you never let me talk to her
and you became a different person
someone i never knew

i could have stayed
no matter what you threw at me
i could have loved you
even if i was never loved back
but i didn't want you to change
but that is what you did

i know i have to go
coz i bring out the worst in you

[i know i bring out the worst in you is a line in the movie 'you've got mail'. joe says it when he goes to meet kathleen when she's sick.]

chance pe dance

i'll step on your feet
and i'll forget all the steps
i won't follow the music
and i'll bumble and tumble
i'll make you teach me
and i'll forget again
i'll just keep mumbling
incoherent words you won't hear
i'll hold your hand
like i'm never gonna let go

will you dance with me tonight ?