man of few words

i don't want to talk to you.

okay.

for ever.

okay.

do you realize that i'm breaking up with you?

yes, i do.

and you are okay with it?

i've seen it coming for quite some time now.

i just want you to know that nothing you say or do now is going to change my decision.

i'm not going to say or do anything. you must have put enough thought into the decision.

i can't believe you are letting it go just like that. i was expecting a big tamasha.

then you don't me yet. and i'm not letting you go.

so i was right?

no. it will all be in my mind. nothing that should affect you.

you know, the earlier thing about not knowing you. you have done absolutely nothing to make that easier.

i know.

god knows how i have tried. i can't take it anymore.

i know.

is this all a big joke to you? here i am, crying and you stand there just like that?

my time for tears will come too.

whatever. listen, i've got to go. i wish i could have parted with some nice words. but frankly, i have none.

i can understand.

incoherent rambling

some stupid waves came
and swept away my sand-castle
and as i picked up
the last remains of my creation
i could not help but wonder
should i stop building altogether?

the waves, they'd always be there
waiting just beyond the shore
watching me build the castle
nimble-footed for the kill
and so i confronted them
asked if i had ever wronged them
and why they couldn't let me
enjoy the fruits of my labor
even for one evanescent moment

and they replied in sad voices
they were bound by an ancient curse
to rise up and then fall down
in one endless excruciating cycle
it hurt them as much
destroying my castle
and so, while retreating, they'd stay
just a second more at my feet
asking for forgiveness

and now i realised
i had been quick to judge
putting my pain
above everyone else's

so i stopped
making stupid castles
played with the waves instead
and in place of something
that broke in a second
i got something special
a friend for life

photo by Basu. More of the same beautiful stuff can be seen here. even i can't make any sense out of what i've written here :P

OCD

शैतान चाँद रोज़ रात
पोटली भर अनगिनत तारे
इधर उधर यूँ ही बिखरा
सारा आसमान गन्दा करता है
फिर सुबह बेचारा सूरज
गुस्से में लाल हो कर
हाथ में झाड़ू लिए
सब तारे साफ़ करता है

no contingency planning

i stole some stars
and hid them in my cupboard
waiting for you to come
so i could share them with you
we would sit there
and i would bring out the stars
look at your shining face
and your happy eyes
and your sparkling smile

but it all ended in nought
you chose the daytime
to come visit me
and all my stars
were just ugly rocks in your hands.

i stole the phrase ''stolen stars'' from this beautiful piece.

Focus, focus!!!

Tears streamed down his face as he thought about the past few days. ''Broken beyond repair'' was how he felt about his life. He ran a finger along the sharp edge of the knife he was holding and then he just sat there staring at the thin rivulet of blood. The doors were locked, the suicide note was written, the stage was set. Life, as he had lived it, raced past his empty eyes. And then his eyes caught a sudden movement. A Pizza Hut coupon had freed itself from the pile of newspapers and was fluttering about under the fan. Two days ago, they had ordered pizzas and she'd sat with him at that very spot on the floor as they watched their favorite show on tv. He wondered what she would think of him when she heard the news. Or did she care any longer? The coupon suddenly felt heavy in his hands. He stared at it for some more time. He felt he had to do something. His hand scrambled for his phone, the pain of the cut finger forgotten. The number was on speed dial.
''Hello! I'd like to order a small chicken supreme pizza...''

गरीबी की कहानी

टिमटिमाते टिमटिमाते कभी
अँधेरे में धंस गायब हो जाते हैं
तारों पे भरोसा मत करना
जब ज़रुरत पड़ती है कतरा जाते हैं

इंसान बेचारा चाह कर भी
कुछ कहाँ कर पाता है
रात के सारे हिसाब वो रखें
उनके पास सपनों का खाता है

तो भईया लो, सारे सपने
चमकीले साहूकार गिरवी रखें
और जब डूबते दिल को ज़रुरत पड़े
दूर से चोर सारे ठेंगा दिखावें

inspired by a song from the movie ishqiya :)