towering totem

i could be superman
fly the skies
soar above the clouds
touch the stars
and all my dreams

but i'm tied down
i try and i try
the ropes cut the skin
and though much blood is spilt
the fact remains
i can't move an inch

and i stand there
hoping and wishing
someone would come
and cut some of the ropes
help me fight out

i want someone
to believe in me
tell me i can fly
that if i spread my arms
and wanted to fly
the ropes would break
all on their own

but i forget
superman can't be super
if not from inside
there are no ropes
but those that
i've tied myself.

[made the chalk thing in a FM class today... the poem was written in a CSE class following that... the pic has been intentionally taken that way, coz the 'superman' didn't come out well in the end... didn't have anything sharp.. had to do it with a key..]

ouch!!

groucho marx said: i refuse to join any club that would have ME as a member.

i think i will apply the same logic if ever some girl proposes to me.

[:P]

bah!

something wrong with me.

i hear wifi as wife ayi.

prof writes Pdt for product and i see it as a differential eqn.

hmmm...

रेत पे तेरे पैरों के निशाँ
कुछ गीले कुछ सूखे से होंगे
कल किसी समंदर किनारे
तेरे बोल कुछ गहरे से होंगे
कुछ थक जायेंगे जब तेरे कदम
मेरे पैरों पे तुम चल लेना
एक हो जाएँ जब सारे निशाँ
बस सपने बुनते रहने देना
इक हँसी की मिठास
तोडे़गी खट्टी दीवारें सारी
बस फ़िर ना आने पायेंगी
आंखों में बूँदें खारी
जब सारे शब्द गुम हो जायेंगे
मैं तुम संग गुनगुना लूंगा
कल जब सूरज थक जाएगा
मैं तेरी रौशनी में नहा लूंगा

[random pic Stumbled upon]

2 X 2 = 4

i could hate you
and you could hate me back
we would be stranded
on opposite banks
when we've burnt
all our bridges

i could hate you
and you could love me back
believe in me
when i say
i could never hurt you
without bleeding myself
many times over

i could love you
and you could hate me back
grow weary of
all the ways my love
confines you in
with its infinite worry

i could love you
and you could love me back
we'd build our world
brick by brick
till our butterfly
comes back to
the wildflower
....

[wildflower is a song by sheryl crow]

अर्ज़ किया है

जब से सीखा है
खुली आंखों से
हसीं सपने देखना...
अच्छा लगने लगा है
थकी आंखों का
रोजाना दर्द सहना...
[:P]

[written in an OB class.. had only 1.5 hours of sleep last night...]

eve-teasing

i thought
she was there
for the taking
bent forward
to kiss her
and she socked me
in the face
i'm still bleeding
from the cut
her ring made
[:P]

today.. and yesterday...

the title song of u, me aur hum... perhaps the only good song in the movie...

अपने रंग गंवाए बिन
मेरे रंग में घुल जाओ
अपनी धुप बुझाये बिन
मेरी छाँव में आ जाओ
चलो यूं करें
तुम, तुम भी रहो
मैं, मैं भी रहूँ
हम, हम भी रहें
तीनों मिल के साथ चलें
यू , मी और हम...

reminded me of something i had written long ago...

and when there's too much love
and you start fearing for yourself
and wonder if you'll lose the 'i'
let your heart have its say
love isn't about winning/losing
you won't walk in her shadow
you'll both shine in each other's afterglow

[inspired by afterglow - inxs]

lecture :P

time ki izzat karna seekho sunny somani

is se badii seekh koi tumhe nahi de sakta

aadmi ka samay bahumulya hai

ek baar guzar gaya to waqt laut ke nahi aata

make the most of your today

nahi to duniya ki daud mein peeche rah jaoge

aur fir tumhare paas haath malne ka alawa koi chaara nahi rahega

isliye main tumhe kahta hoon

abhi bhi samay hai

sambhal jao

samay ki mahatta ko pahchanon

har mahaan vyakti ki mahatta ka raaz yahi hota hai

ki usne samay rahte samay ki mahatta ko pahchan liya hota hai

nahi to aise bahut saare kisse sun ne ko milenge tumhe

jahan pratibha aur buddhi hone ke bawjood bhi

vyakti peeche rah gaya hai

main nahi chahta ki tum bhi aise logon mein giney jao

is liye aj aansoon bhari aankhon se tumse prarthna kar raha hoon

ki jao marao :D

certain unmentionable words leading to and following this snatch aren't being provided here [:P]!!

product placement

seen in a paan dukaan.

some agarbatti with a smiling pic of baba ramdev.

and below that.

a packet of.

moods.

[:D]

good night dear...

तारों भरा आकाश
एक मेरे
एक तुम्हारे पास
अपना छोटा सा तारा
तुमको कहे
अब रात हो चुकी गहरी
तुम सो जाओ
मैं हूँ ना प्रहरी
...
तारे की चमक
आंखों में छुपा लेना
मुट्ठी में कर बंद
कुछ रौशनी बचा लेना
कल जब सूरज
तारे खा जाएगा
और चकाचौंध में
कुछ अँधेरा सा
नज़र आएगा
तब वो छोटा तारा
तुम्हे याद आएगा
राह दिखायेगा
.....
कल जब मेरा साथ
तुमसे बिछड़ जायेगा
और चाह कर भी
मेरा प्यार
तुम्हे छू ना पायेगा
वो तारा तुम्हे
मेरी याद दिलायेगा
कुछ मेरी तरह
बाहों में ले
आँखों में रौशनी
भर जायेगा

happy valentine's day [:D]!!

आज दिल दुखा है
तुम याद आए
अनजाने लोग हैं
अपने कहाँ ढूंढ पाए
जागे हैं, सोये नहीं
ऐसी है मेरी ये बेचैनी
दिन भी वही, रातें वही
साँसों में साँसे हैं नही

तुमको कहा कभी अपना
अब किसी से नाता नही
तुम हो तो सब है
तुम नही तो कुछ नही
तेरी सूरत को अब
तरसें भीगी पलकें मेरी
यादों को तेरी आज
ढूंढूं मैं हर कहीं

टूटा हूँ मैं
हारा इस जग से
दर्द में है गुम
अब हर दिशा मेरी
मीठे जो दो बोल बोले
आज मेरी मिठास नही
आँसू रोकूँ तो कैसे
ज़िंदगी खो गयी कहीं

गुम हो जाने दो
अंधेरे में कहीं
सो जाने दो
सपनों को सभी
ले लो हर खुशी
कुछ अब बाकी नही
बस आ जाओ एक बार
मैं रोता रहूँ यूं ही
......

partly lifted from yakeen and jalpari, both by atif aslam.

mmmm.....

I LOVE MIA.

[:D]!!

endless skies

इक छोटा सा आकाश
आंखों में छुपाये
नीले चश्मे से
दुनिया को देखो तो
मन करता है
बस पतंग बन
उड़ जाए कहीं दूर
बादलों के देश को

पर साँसों की डोर तो
धरती से बंधी है
और बादल वो सारे
काले-कलूटे से हैं
बारिशों में भीगा
मन सहमा सा है
छोटा सा आकाश
कहीं खो गया है

about me :P

gibbering gibberish. lame limericks. potent portents. bleeding blisters. numb nemeses. fabulous fables. rambling rants. quiet quips. claustrophobic clamors. woefully wonderful. obdurate oaf. glum gladness. meandering memories. halting hiatus. splendidly splenetic. yearning yesterdays. turbulent tomorrows. jaundiced jealousy. eternal ends.

i'm not sane/rational/normal. there's a lot to me i don't understand. nor do i want to. so i hate people who come up to me to say that they know me. i am moody/irksome/irritating. i could laugh at the stupidest of jokes and stay morose at the best of them. there are a thousand branches each thought can take. and i'm generally lost in this labyrinth. so you might not see me. but i see you all the same. i may not understand - do not understand - what i see, but i see. through eyes that are clouded with numerous thoughts. i talk a lot. to myself. i'm not a misanthrope. but i don't like most of the people i meet. and i'm sure, the feeling is mutual. the walls around me are strong. and impenetrable generally. but i'm not confined. the bricks are. i hate people who think they know a lot. including me. i think i know a lot. about nothing in particular. useless knowledge. i write a lot. all nonsense. don't try to find hidden meanings in anything i write. coz there are none. it's all simple and plain english. words thrown together in unending sentences. staccato bursts aimed at disposing of some of the garbage. of which there's an endless supply. i often use words like eternal, endless, unending, forever. but my favorite word is zilch. and sunshine. and crazy. but i love the rains. i love to start sentences with 'but' and 'and'. as if i'm continuing something i left midway. coz i never complete things. i get bored. of anything and everything. like i'm getting bored right now. of writing all this. when i know it's an useless endeavor. it's all zilch. it's paradoxical, isn't it - something 'being' zilch? haha!!

i thought i'd write me a new 'about me' for orkut [:D]!!

sound advice!!

seen on the rear of a bus:

दूसरों का माल देखकर हैरान न हो.. इश्वर तुम्हे भी देगा, परेशान न हो !!!!

[:P]

शायरी (at its worst) :P

यादों के पन्नों से मिट चुके
वो तेरे किस्से याद आते हैं
कोरे कागज़ पर तेरी तस्वीर के
कुछ अनजाने निशाँ उभर आते हैं

दिल का कोई एक छोटा कोना
तेरी याद संजोये रहता है
आंखें नामी छुपाती फिरती हैं
पर दर्द का साथ तो फिर भी रहता है

रो कर जब मन भर जाता है
हम खुद पर थोडा हंस लेते हैं
कभी खुद को, कभी तुझे
कभी किस्मत को कोस लेते हैं

कमबख्त इश्क भी बड़ी बुरी चीज़ है
सांस भी नही लेने देता है
पहले उसके ख्यालों में खोये रहते थे
अब उसका गम जीने नही देता है

blood

it swirls around me
and inside me
engulfing me and smothering me
leaving me barely alive
sucking the lights
out of the dark mazes
within this mind
some of it i spilled
some flowed out of gashes
i earned in my fight
with the time-demon
a grim reminder
of all that i've killed
and all the times
i've been murdered

bad day

every day i set out afresh
a smile plastered on my face
the frowns erased from my brow
the clenched fists undone
and the cloudy eyes transparent

i want my day to go well
just for this once
a day i don't have to cry
even if i don't get to smile
just a day that doesn't hurt

i try my best everyday
not to feel, or see
in the hope i won't suffer
if i shut out the world
like an ostrich in the sand

but i am hewn apart
all the numbness i cultivate
can't stop me from
feeling the pain
and living the pain

and the smile vanishes
the brow is lined again
and the fists clenched
i start out a kid
and age centuries everyday

and you ask me
why i love the night?

heard this song after a long time today - bad day [daniel powter]. and i remembered this poem i had once written on a wall of my room in college.

उदास कहानी

दरवाज़े पर आ
ठिठक जाती है जो
उस किरण को
अब क्या कहूं?
पर अंधेरे को भी
कब तक सहूँ?

कल आँख में
भर आई थीं जो
कुछ बूँदें खारी
उनके स्वाद का चर्चा
किसी से क्या करूं?
पर खाली आंखों को
और भला कैसे भरूँ?

छोड़ गए हैं कब के
सपने सुनहरे जो
उनकी परछाईं को
मैं कैसे धरूँ?
कुछ उलझी लकीरों में
उलझ गयी है जो
उस जिंदगी को जिए बिना
अब कैसे मरूँ?

:P

someone talking: who're you fucking?

and i see the written thing being said in a different way.

noname.cpp

reality creeps upon me
slowly, stealthily
and knocks out my senses
leaving me numb.

i thrash out in anger
but there's no one
i want to be angry at
except at myself.

so i turn into medea
there's blood everywhere
as i massacre
all the dreams inside.

and when i'm dreamless
i feel empty
there's a void
i cry my tears into.

medea is a character in mythology who killed her own children. inspired by this video i found on someone's orkut account.

:)

no one calls me up.

no one pings me for chat.

no one sends me a scrap.

no one sends me a SMS.

no one sends me a mail.

no one loves me.

[:P]

twinkle, twinkle, little star

stars, stars..
so many of them
and i'm a kid again
just a handful
and i'd hide them
under my pillow
and go to sleep
with a smile.
but people say
stars are huge
and i can't have
even the smallest.
but my toy-house
is so dark
all i need is
a teeny twinkle.
and so i hide
behind my palms
and look at them
hoping and hoping
one of them
will humor me
and come down
to light my world.

anonymous

there's some inter-b-school sports meet going on in my institute. and there's so much of cheering (and jeering) going on.

the slogans that these people have been shouting.. they're so unoriginal... i think they are supposed to be part of some famed folklore... heritage, culture, whatever you call it.. and everyone is only too eager to take the baton to the next stage..

why am i saying all this?.. somehow, i can't identify with all this enthusiasm...

there's so much of tradition to follow... things that your are supposed to do...

bah!!