me vs myself

often i turn inwards
searching for meaning
but the walls i created
to keep the world out
don't let me see through
i'm stopping myself
from comforting myself
i want to suffer
in solitude with myself
and when i realize this
the walls break down
in a flood of tears
i'm one with myself
but through the tears
i see a happy me
with a sweet smile
waiting for me
to cry my heart out
to cry my hurt out
but the tears tell me
no one can hurt me
more than myself
no one can hurt me
if i don't myself
the meaning i search
isn't so hidden
there's no hurt
if i don't feel it
tears are selfish
i'm not so important
that i get the right
to hurt myself
chasing stupid dreams
will hurt you
i'll hug myself
and stop dreaming
and the walls that were
won't be necessary
i'm the earth
heavy with myself

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written in a OB class. it was a class on communication and the word 'meaning' got me going.